Living in Spicy City

Three distinct characteristics I've uncovered that give this Spicy City its flavor and personality:


Hua Jou---


     “Hua jou” translates to mouth-numbing peppers, and most dishes will be accompanied with these small black balls of FURY AND FIRE. Although I'm getting used to the numbing sensation and the spiciness, I can't stand hua jou in large amounts. It will ruin an otherwise perfect dish of “jja jang mien,” and nothing will rid the taste in your mouth, not even water (I think milk just might do it). The Chinese laugh while they say you're not actually supposed to eat the “hua jou” as if you are being incredibly silly. They say something along the lines of “silly, you're not supposed to eat them! They just add to the flavor of the dish, you should avoid eating them!” 


     Would if I could, but are you kidding me? You can't even see the damn things most of the time because they're so small, and this is especially true when they grind the little guys. It's impossible to avoid eating them when they're literally stuck to all of your noodles from bottom to top, and are the size of dirt flecks. I suppose the Sichuanese have evolved a small compartment in their mouths where their tongue immediately removes the “hua jou” from the food once it enters their mouth and stores it into this said compartment for a form of future personal torture. In reality they are enamored and tolerant of the numbing effects of “hua jou” and most enjoy it while I shudder and try to keep from retching when accidentally biting right through a small ball of “hua jou.” If you can't handle a little bit of spice then you might just end up bursting into flames after trying some of the popular local dishes of Chengdu. I like to keep it real by keepin' it spicy (without the “hua jou,” please).


Personal Space (or the lack of)---


     I'm not a needy person. I don't require a sea of personal space and I don't need it all the time. I like it when people get all up in my space sometimes. I like hugs. I like them firm and tight. Too bad what I experience on a daily basis is nothing like the hugs I enjoy. It's a serious clusterfuck out here, and nobody's going to stop for you. There's just not enough space. It's nothing but hustlin' and bustlin' out there in the concrete jungle. People aren't walking especially fast, but imagine a sidewalk with a lot of people who are walking very slowly-- it gets congested very quickly. You must act like a Chinese person to maintain your dignity and to keep from toppling over. Imitating Chinese behavior encompasses walking aggressively, but not necessarily in terms of speed, and trying not to be too offended when someone treats you rudely out on the streets. Don't afraid to get a little up close and personal and jostle somebody if need be. While waiting to get on the bus, if you're not on the look out, you'll get shoved and cut in the blink of an eye, by not 1 Chinese person, but 5. Be ready to stand your ground and do not budge for the cutters. Edge them out. If they still succeed, and believe me, they will, then politely tell them "WAIT IN LINE!" in Chinese.


     The Chinese don't really have a concept of personal space-- they'll get up in your business without a second thought or an apology. Once someone actually pushed Dan aside so he could read the bus stop schedule. There was no “sorry” or “excuse me” involved, just a quick push and then it was over. I think it stems from the fact that there are so many damn people everywhere and people are so used to being in crowded areas they kind of have to push their way past people and jostle a few others to get where they want to go. What I'm saying is that perhaps it's unavoidable bumping into people because there are so many people out on the streets and on the bus. Maybe sometimes it's simply a lack of manners (I don't know, manners CAN be culturally relative, but this is a whole other blog post in and of itself) but it's fairly common phenomenon so I attribute it to the cultural perception of “personal space” and how the Chinese manage that concept with such a large population.


     A lot of people also use bikes, both electric and regular, and they take over the sidewalks and the bike lanes on the street so you also have to maneuver around those guys in addition to the slow walkers. You'll never find yourself alone on a sidewalk. You'll never walk down the sidewalk or cross a street without the possibility of being run over by a bike or a crazy Chengdu taxi driver. You'll never walk without having to sidestep a walker. You'll also never be waiting in a line without being cut by at least 3 people. My friends, this is Chengdu, for better and for worse.


     You'll also seldom hear silence. I miss hearing absolutely nothing. Instead I hear a lot of incessant honking punctuating short periods of “quiet.” I think at any given minute you will hear multiple honks out in the streets. Even as I sit here typing in my apartment I can hear honks virtually every couple of seconds. A Chinese driver will honk at you to let you know she's driving past you, honk to let you know she's 100 feet behind you, honk to let you know she's not going to stop for you crossing the street, honk to let you know you're in the way (even if you might not be), and honk for whatever both good and bad reason you can think of. I think Chengdu is like NYC on crack. NYC's population is larger than Chengdu's, but it sure feels more crowded and hectic in Chengdu than it does in the Big Apple. I've gone running outside, and now I enjoy the company of a treadmill more (which I used to hate using) because I simply can't run without stopping every 10 seconds for some kind of obstacle. Also people rarely run outside so when you're out for a jog you'll find yourself being stared at as if your 3^rd head just sprouted another head on its side.


Good ol' street barbeque----


     YUM! Once you get off the main streets and venture into the side alleys you'll find yourself walking past street barbeque stands. Street barbeques consist of a grill and a stand/platform with an array of vegetables, meat, and fish speared with wooden sticks for easy handling and eating. The stand usually is attached to a bike. Easy. You can get anything from cabbage, lotus, quail eggs, potatoes, mini buns, whole fish, lettuce stalks, cabbage leaves, chicken, to peppers. It's absolutely ridiculous, and absolutely necessary. 


     Unfortunately the police don't think so and there's been a recent crackdown on street vendors. Street vendors are now banned because of health, cosmetic, and space reasons. The Chinese call the department of police who maintain peace and order on the streets a special word, but I can't remember what it is. The Chinese say this name with scorn and contempt because they're not fond of them. These police people are in charge of keeping food vendors off the street and enforcing traffic rules. Essentially these police people are the most direct form of law enforcement common people encounter daily. Once we were ordering cold noodles from a guy with a stand in front of our apartment and he wheeled away immediately when he saw headlights coming down the street, thinking it was a cop. It wasn't, and he chuckled while he explained and and handed us our $1 cold noodles in a small styrofoam box held shut with a toothpick.


     Back to barbeque. Usually you get a tray or a small basket in which you put in everything you've chosen to eat from the stand. You then hand the tray/basket to the “lao ban” (owner) and he'll count everything up and calculate the price, at which point he'll hand off your basket/tray to the grill master (shitty job as they stand there inhaling all the smoke) who masterfully brushes the veggies, fish, and meat with oil then adds cumin, salt, and some other spices as all the food grills slowly. Meanwhile you're sitting at a small table with dwarf-sized plastic stools that come up halfway up your calf and ask the “waiter” for two cold beers to wash everything down with. The barbequed food is delivered to you on the same tray, and you gobble it up as fast as you can off the wooden sticks and with chopsticks (sometimes this isn't very fast). The food tastes the same in the sense the grill master uses the same spicy coating for all of the food items, but it's still good, and a great, convenient experience. Barbeques are usually set up at night and will continue late into the night for hungry people to stumble upon, and feast. And feast I do.